The Off Switch

In today's Wall Street Journal (1/4/2008) there is a impassioned editorial by Stephen Moore who discusses at length his teenagers addiction to video games. I asked my 13 year old to read it, and he asked, "Am I as addicted as they are?" With some relief, I was able to say no. But Mr. Moore's description of his almost grown children having a temper tantrum because they were asked to turn off the Nintendo rang true to scenes that we have had at our house. He argues that the changes in his sons that have occurred as a result of their gaming, are not that different from the changes that occur with a drug or sex addiction.

Dan was open to listening to me for about three minutes, so after he took his MP3 player ear buds out, I explained that parents have to be the "off switch" for kids, because many kids especially teenagers, don't have that part of their brain developed. That the constant gaming is just as destructive as pornography, or drugs or smoking if it remains unchecked.

From a parenting point of view, video games are the best thing since sliced bread. They are the ultimate electronic babysitter because they are entertaining, keep kids engaged and busy and quiet. Kids don't mess up the house, because they don't move. They don't have to fight, especially if they each have their own gaming outlet.

Friends of ours remarked on the changes in the dormitory of Purdue University between the time they dropped their eldest son off for the first time and three years later when they took their middle child to the same dorm. The second time they made the trip, they noticed a pervasive silence, and the silhouettes of boys' heads in the glow of their blue computer screens. The kids were gaming, isolated in their respective fantasy worlds.

I can't even begin to broach the topic of the gratuitous violence that many games engender as "normal" because, frankly, my kids play sports games and games with little Lego people in Star Wars outfits popping each other's heads off. But it does concern me when I think my kids are living a little too virtually, when they are being programmed by proxy to "get to the next level". I think that I would feel the same if the programming was being done by the Mafia or Columbian drug lords.

I'd like both my boys to be courageous, independent thinkers, who enjoy the reality of life. If that is to be, then it is incumbent on Stephen and me to offer them alternatives to the virtual reality, and not be afraid to turn off the Off Switch.